


stolen kisses

by benjidunn



Series: Gay Spy Nerds [1]
Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Ethan's a flirt sometimes, Implied Sexual Content, Like a LOT of making out, M/M, Making Out, Public Display of Affection, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension, also Ethan's not working right now, mentions of Julia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 22:57:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17990090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benjidunn/pseuds/benjidunn
Summary: Or, how not to tell your boss that you're dating Ethan Hunt.





	stolen kisses

Ethan comes over looking more dressed up than he should be. They eat dinner. They drink. They laugh. And then they end up on the couch, with Ethan tossing his jacket on his floor and sloppily rolling his sleeves up to his elbows while Benji fumbles with the buttons of his shirt. That’s the routine they had settled into for the past number of weeks now, so often that Benji craves it. The first time it happened, they stopped before anything else happened, both looking a bit bewildered because it all occurred so quickly. The next time it was cautious, and then it was intentional, and then Benji was between Ethan’s legs with his hair in Ethan’s curled fingers, and then, and then, and then.

It’s the fifteenth time now -- or maybe the seventeenth? As if there was any way of knowing when Ethan has his lips on the top of Benji’s neck. He sighs, hooks his right leg around Ethan’s, tightens his hold around his head. It was so easy to get used to this, and yet it feels so new every time.

Then a thought weasels its way into Benji’s mind. He frowns, bites his lip as Ethan sighs into his ear, and says, “Ethan?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we talk?”

Ethan kisses his cheekbone and says, “Right now?”

“It’s kind of important.”

Ethan pecks Benji on the lips before picking himself up so he can meet his gaze. The both of them are panting slightly, temporarily frozen, until Ethan finally asks, “Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says quickly. “Don’t get worried.”

“Then what is it?”

That’s the question. Benji knows what he wants to say, but trying to say it is a thousand times harder than he expected. Not that looking into Ethan’s eyes made it any easier.

He swallows and then says, “Are we -- I mean, is it possible to say that maybe we’re, er…”

Ethan doesn’t show any sign of understanding where Benji’s going. He inhales.

“Are we, um, dating?”

The word makes his heart race. Ethan’s expression doesn’t change.

“I thought that’s what we’ve been doing.”

“Oh.” Heat rises to his face. “We just never put a label on it, I wasn’t sure--”

He’s cut short by the grin forming on Ethan’s face. Then it turns into a short laugh. “I come over, eat dinner with you, and spend the night sometimes. What did you think we were?”

“I don’t know, friends with benefits.”

He laughs again, louder this time. “I think it’s okay to say that we’re dating.”

Benji’s stomach flips. “So Ethan Hunt is my boyfriend.”

His smile softens. “It’s been a while since I heard anyone refer to me as that.”

Benji grimaces. “It’s been even longer for me.”

“How long?”

“Don’t ask me that,” he whines, “the answer is too embarrassing.”

“Mm,” Ethan hums before leaning in and pressing a kiss into the corner of Benji’s mouth.

“Wait, we’re not done talking.”

Ethan kisses the skin next to his ear and asks, “What else is there to say?”

“We have to tell the IMF, don’t we?”

Now, Ethan hesitates. He raises his head again. “We have to talk about this right now?”

“You know that we have to talk about it eventually.”

“What’s wrong with keeping this to ourselves?”

“You also know why that’s wrong.”

“Yeah, I just…” His eyes are weary. “It’s nice to be quietly dating someone. Especially one who already knows about what I do.”

Benji looks at him sympathetically and gently tells him, “I just think it would be better if we told them sooner rather than later. It’s not really like they can force us to stop or anything.” He pauses. “Can they?”

Ethan contemplates for a moment, and then says, “How about a compromise?”

“What’s that?”

“The year is almost over,” he starts. “We finish this year to ourselves, and then we disclose our relationship before I start doing missions again. Alright?”

“Alright.”

“Now, can I kiss you again?”

“Please,” Benji moans, gladly pulling Ethan into a wide-mouth kiss.

 

* * *

 

But first, they had to get through the IMF end-of-the-year celebration undetected.

The end-of-the-year celebration is held in the same hotel ballroom every year, passed off as a formal event put on by insert-fake-business-name-here. There’s music and food and drinking, everything that Benji would assume a normal workplace would have in a celebration like this. And he generally looks forward to the celebration every year, just because it’s nice to be around his colleagues without having to stress about whatever mission they’re all assigned to that day. This year, he’s particularly excited, because Ethan isn’t off gallivanting through Malaysia or Azerbaijan this time.

Yet there’s a certain anxiety that Benji has now, because Ethan is his _boyfriend_ , not just a colleague he hooks up with on the weekend or a crush he’s struggled with for years. He has an excuse to kiss him whenever he feels like it. Pretending that he isn’t attracted to Ethan is now ten times harder, somehow.

Benji goes to the celebration by himself. When he arrives, Ethan’s nowhere to be found. He shrugs it off and meanders over to some of the technicians he had gotten to know before he was promoted to field agent. They welcome him into their conversation, asking him about what he’s planning to do for New Year’s Eve, mentioning that one of them was throwing a party that evening, if he’d like to come.

He’s in the middle of a conversation about some snafu that happened the previous week when he glances towards the entrance and notices Ethan walking in. His heart leaps to his throat when he sees him, head swimming, because he looks fucking amazing. Benji only sends a smile towards Ethan when he’s close enough, which Ethan returns before joining the group he’s with.

“What’s up, Ethan?” someone greets. “Long time, no see.”

“Just lying around, you know,” he responds. “I’ll be back in commission soon enough.”

“Good, we’ve missed you.”

“Hopefully not too much.”

“You’ve really been up to nothing this whole time?” somebody else asks.

“No, I’ve had stuff to do.”

“What’s that?”

“Paperwork,” he answers dryly. He makes eye contact with Benji and grins.

“Better than field work, huh?”

“I don’t think I’ll really miss paperwork in the same way I miss doing field work. You’ll see me again.” He glances at Benji a second time. “I’m going to get something to drink, if you don’t mind.”

In reply, a few of them say they’ll talk to him soon. Benji waits a moment, and then says, “I think I will too.”

He follows Ethan’s footsteps towards the bar. Ethan stops a short distance away from it, hand in his pockets, watching the bartender with interest. When Benji stops next to him, Ethan murmurs, “You look great.”

“You look more than great.”

The tension between them is instantaneous tonight. Maybe because of the fact that they’re both dressed up. Maybe because they’re out together, pretending like they didn’t share a bed last night, pretending like they have no interest in each other.

“What took you so long?” Benji asks.

“I don’t know, I wasn’t really in a rush to get here.”

“And not see me?”

“Let’s say the later I get here, the less time I have to spend before we can go home.”

Oh, Ethan’s in a mood tonight. Benji tries to ignore the stirring in the pit of his stomach and approaches the bar. He orders a drink, and then Ethan does. Someone grabs onto Ethan and exchanges a few words with him before he returns to Benji’s side, now standing near a dimly-lit corner.

“You really miss doing field work?” Benji asks.

Ethan snorts. “Sort of.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I’ve been doing this for half my life now.” He grimaces. “That sounded much worse out loud than in my head.”

“And?”

“I don’t really know what else to do but field work at this point. It was different when I was with Julia, because I had a reason to retire, but now…” He shrugs. “I appreciate them giving me the rest of the year off after all that in Kashmir, but I’m ready to get back out there.”

“So you’re only coming over to my place because you’re bored.”

“Definitely.” He smiles and looks around. “Is anyone looking?”

“Why are y--” Benji is suddenly interrupted when Ethan grabs his arm and tugs him close enough to bump his lips against his ear. “Ethan!”

“Sorry, I tripped.”

In any other circumstance, this would be embarrassing, but the flirtatious smile that Ethan flashes Benji causes him to feel -- how does he describe something like that?

“Behave yourself,” Benji settles on at last.

“I’ll try my best.”

That almost seems like a challenge. Benji takes a sip of his drink and glances around the room. “I guess a lot of these people haven’t seen you in a long time, hm?”

“Mm.” Nothing else follows that, just Ethan watching him with interest. He really is making it exceptionally hard tonight.

Benji clears his throat, doing anything to avoid looking at him, and asks, “Did you eat dinner already?”

“A little bit ago.”

“I didn’t realize how long ago I last ate until now.”

“You can go get something to eat,” Ethan tells him.

“Thanks for the permission.”

He caves in at last and meets Ethan’s eyes. They’re dark, playful, swirling with something that makes Benji want to tear his shirt off right there, just like they’re back in his apartment. What is it about Ethan that gives Benji the libido of a twenty year old?

Benji makes his way to one of the tables and takes a napkin full of hor d’oeuvres. After doing so, he catches Ethan moving across the room towards a chair near a wall. Benji goes to the empty chair next to him and takes a seat. “Remind me again where Luther’s at?” Ethan asks.

“Last time I knew, the Czech Republic.”

“Thanks,” he sighs. “Normally I know those things.”

“You haven’t exactly been in the loop with the IMF recently. I’d say that it’s understandable.”

“I mean I should know because I talk to him regularly. Last time he came to visit me was two weeks ago. We talked for a while, but he didn’t mention where he was going. I knew he had a few tasks to complete, but he didn’t give me details.”

“And you didn’t ask?”

“No. I guess I wasn’t really thinking about travelling or work at all at that point. We got to talking about other things.”

“Maybe you do need to get back to work if you’ve already forgotten to ask about it,” Benji teases.

A smirk flickers on Ethan’s lips. “We don’t always talk about work.” He pauses. “You know, Luther’s really the only person I’ve had to talk to about life in general. Besides Julia, that is.”

Benji understands what he means, only he had the advantage of still being able to phone his mother from time to time. The life of a secret agent is definitely a lonely one. He thinks for a moment, and then says, “You have me, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” Ethan smiles at him. There’s a beat before he says, “Really, you look…” and then trails off, lips parted just slightly.

“End of the year,” Benji reminds him.

“It doesn’t count if nobody sees.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, there are dozens of people here.”

What a terrible flirt Ethan is. So much is his power over Benji that he can hardly protest when Ethan sends another glance towards the group gathered in the center of the ballroom, puts his fingers on Benji's chin, and tilts his face towards his to press a short kiss against his lips.

“If you’re going to act like this, I’m going to talk to the technicians again,” Benji mumbles breathlessly. Ethan has no retort; he only looks at Benji with the same lovesickness in his eyes that runs through Benji’s veins.

“Maybe you should.”

Jesus, that shouldn’t turn him on.

“Were you like this with Julia?”

Ethan laughs and takes another sip of his drink.

Benji gets up and leaves, because if he didn’t, he would absolutely break their compromise on the spot.

He heads over to another group and says something here and there. At some point, he notices Ethan is busy talking to some new field agents. As much as he tries to avoid looking at him, it’s next to impossible. And from the amount of times that Ethan meets his look, it seems that he’s facing a similar problem.

Benji forces himself to wait a bit before going over to Ethan. Ten minutes, twenty minutes. Then he watches Ethan break away from the group he was in and moves back towards the bar. Benji finally takes the chance to do the same.

Instead of ordering another drink, Ethan stands off next to the wall, leaning up against it. “Hello again,” he tells Benji when he’s close enough to hear.

“This is much harder than I thought it would be,” Benji admits.

“We could leave.”

“I don’t really want to leave, though. I like being here.”

Ethan doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, he takes a deep breath, crosses his arms, and says, “We can take a break from the party then.”

Benji isn’t expecting that. He tilts his head and asks, “What do you mean?”

“I mean we can just leave for a few minutes and then come back.”

“Oh.” Benji swallows. “Uh, yeah, okay.”

“We don’t have to go out very far.”

“Like out back?” Damned if Benji knows why he’s encouraging Ethan right now. “Through the door down the hallway, I mean? It’s not too cold.”

“It’s just for a few minutes,” he repeats.

Benji licks his lower lip and says, “And we’re not breaking any rules.”

“Mm-mm.”

A smile switches on Benji’s face. “Yeah, let's do it.”

“Great.” He nods towards one of the doors, and the two of them make their way out. Once in the hallway, their pace quickens, until they’re at a near-jog by the time they reach the doors. Ethan tells Benji to wait, goes outside, shut the doors, and then signals for Benji to come through once he confirms that the doors don’t lock from the outside. No sooner is Benji out of the door than Ethan is grabbing him by the arm and yanking him close.

Immediately their lips meet, Ethan moaning, “ _Finally_ ”, Benji gasping once they touch. Ethan moves so that Benji’s back is against the building, completely helpless to Ethan gripping his wrists and lifting them above his head. This is _obscenely_ hot, Benji thinks. Oh, _fuck_ , it’s been forever since he last did anything like this, and Ethan feels _so_ fucking good to kiss.

One of Ethan’s hands drop down to cup around Benji’s chin, sighing loudly as they kiss, messily, hungrily. Benji takes the opportunity to grip Ethan’s hair as he kisses his jaw, and then his neck.

“You’re gonna mess my hair up,” Ethan mutters against Benji’s skin.

“Who fucking cares?”

There are ten thousand things Benji wants to do to Ethan right here, right now. So many things that he doesn’t mind Ethan tugging his shirt out of his pants, because the feel of Ethan’s hand against his stomach makes him moan, especially when he brushes the tips of his fingers against his waistline.

“Why are you so bloody horny today?” Benji asks.

Ethan laughs, moves his face so his lips are only an inch away from Benji’s. “You don’t know how much I want you.”

For all Benji cares, Ethan could fuck him right there, and he would be perfectly alright with it. He’s so infatuated with Ethan, the way he kisses, touches, speaks, laughs, so completely head over heels with just existing with Ethan in that moment, that he is entirely unaware of the door next to them opening up and the appearance of a newcomer. Ethan doesn’t notice either, only stopping when he hears a voice say, “Didn’t realize the party continued out here.”

Benji’s whole body goes cold. Ethan pulls away and glances over at the man who just spoke. “Nice to see you, Brandt.”

What had been lust like Benji had never felt before is now the overwhelming urge to die.

“Nice seeing you too.”

“How’s it like being Secretary now?”

“Busy.”

“I would imagine.”

Benji finally works up the nerve to glance over at Brandt. He seems totally casual, as if he hadn’t just witnessed Benji and Ethan making out like their lives depended on it.

“What brings you out here?” Ethan asks.

“Just wanted to get a quick breather. It’s a bit too stuffy in there for me.” He crosses his arms and continues with, “I’d ask you two the same, but I think I already have my answer.”

That makes Benji wince.

“How long has this been going on?” Brandt asks.

“Not very.”

“We were going to tell you once the new year started,” Benji chimes in at last.

“I saved you that trouble, then.” His eyes flick between them. “It’s a good thing that I know how well you two work together or this might pose a problem for me.”

“It won’t be an issue,” Ethan reassures. “If I thought it would be, I wouldn’t let myself do something like this.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.” Brandt sends him a sympathetic look. “I know you can take care of yourself. Same for Benji.”

“Can I?” Benji responds.

Brandt grins. “Making out behind a hotel isn’t the best place to make out at, you know.”

“We’ll be in soon,” Ethan tells him.

Brandt doesn’t say anything more; he just shakes his head and enters the hotel again. As soon as the door closes behind him, Benji lets out a sigh and slumps against the building.

“That was completely humiliating,” he moans. Ethan doesn’t seem to share this sentiment; instead, he snickers to himself. “Why are you laughing?”

“We couldn’t make it to the end of the year. Just a few more days and we would have made it.”

“That’s _your_ fault. And you’re the one who wanted to wait!”

That only makes Ethan laugh harder. Benji finally caves in and lets out a laugh himself.

“Stop it, Ethan, this is serious!”

Instead of responding, he presses a kiss against Benji’s lips once, twice, and then a third time, each kiss longer and slower than the one before. “Maybe we should go inside, too,” Ethan murmurs. “It’s colder than I thought it was.”

“God, I’m glad you said that, I’m freezing my arse off.”

“Let’s go inside then.” He pauses. “And then to your place.”

Ethan kisses him again, a preview of things to come. It’s enough to wash Benji clean from any and all embarrassment that had just seized him moments prior. Maybe they should just leave right now, Benji thinks to himself, but Ethan’s already at the door, holding it open for him. They’d finish the night out together, Benji decides. But the end of this celebration can’t come soon enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thinking of writing a series of one-shots for Benji and Ethan, my beautiful boys. If this goes well enough, expect those to be on their way!
> 
> Also, I'd like to dedicate this to Sneh for giving me the idea in the first place.


End file.
